It was a month before my 25th birthday. Everything in my life seemed upside down. My job was no longer exciting me, daily activities seemed mundane, and hanging out with friends felt like a chore. I started asking myself, do I really want this life? Am I happy? What’s the point of all this anyway? I had found myself in a quarter-life crisis, “a period of intense soul-searching and stress occurring in your mid-20s to early 30s,” typically because you feel you’re not achieving your full potential or are falling behind.
People said this is a normal condition which will happen to an individual in their 20-30 years old. According to the Lifehack, a survey by LinkedIn showed more than 75% from thousands of people between 25-33 years old in the world has admitted experience quarter-life crisis with mostly in 27 years old. To deal with it, we need a lot of steps and it will not easy. Deb Johnstone, a Mindset Coach from Australi said we can do something to deal with a quarter-life crisis and I will summarize it into 3 things we need to do to encounter a quarter-life crisis.
Don’t compare your quarter-life crisis with others and don’t let society define your worth
One of the symptoms of quarter-life crisis is when you are not satisfied with your current life even you already have a good job, good performance in the office and stable life. You tend to feel what you have is not enough and never enough. An English proverb says “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”. It refers to the way we tend to look at other people’s lives and other things that we don’t have in general. It comes from the idea of looking at a neighbours lawn and seeing it as better looking, healthier and overall greener than your own when in reality you’re just ignoring anything negative about it and downplaying everything positive about your own. We can’t deny disappointment will appear when you’re not satisfied with your life after comparing with others. However, we need to see from a better perspective. Why don’t we think about how to improve and what makes ourself happier? Keep in mind we can do it and handle it. Every people will have their own time to have a spotlight.
Don’t let them set your standard and understand your priority
If we always think about “should I do this?” or “I shouldn’t do that”, it means you are trying to fulfil the standard that created by most of the society. Our society set the goal for everyone as a reference while everyone has their own meaning of happiness, for example, the standard of marriage, income and many other things.
Other expectation will not make us happy and satisfied because we will try to find more ways to impress other people. By consuming and putting that mindset, you will become less confident and you can’t find the ideal success based on your capability. Focus on your talent, skill and what can you do to grow other than follow the social standard. It will lead you to your happiness and you won’t feel empty. The real motivation will come from ourself and it will appear when we are able to have our own dream. Therefore, be sure you already know what is the most important things in your life and make it a priority to make your life more colourful.
Find new healthy circle and ask yourself about your dream
Quarter-life crisis sometimes can trape you and stop you to grow. Staying in the same place and consistently doing the same thing over and over again in a long time will make you stuck and not able to grow. Believe it or not, our society and environment have a big role to shape our mindset. There are many ways to create a new healthy environment; start from changing your table position, find a new interest, find a new job, or you can just simply take a break from your current job and have a short holiday to refresh your mind.
Fortunately, the quarter-life crisis doesn’t have to be something to fear. One young person shows us that it can actually be the thing you need to experience to take your life to the next level. In my age, I’m grateful for the job I have and for the current life that I can enjoy. Growing up will us create bigger goals and a higher standard for myself. The quarter-life crisis is a scary thing for most people if we only see it from one point of view, but the quarter-life crisis will help to filter our connection. Enjoy your quarter-life crisis and start to make a higher standard to make a better life and future.